Wearing Jewlery vs Quiet Spirit

[Photo by caroline.Apollo]

1 Peter 3 Wives, likewise, submit to your own husbands. Do this so that even if some of them refuse to believe the word, they may be won without a word by their wives’ way of life. 2 After all, they will have observed the reverent and holy manner of your lives. 3 Don’t try to make yourselves beautiful on the outside, with stylish hair or by wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Instead, make yourselves beautiful on the inside, in your hearts, with the enduring quality of a gentle, peaceful spirit. This type of beauty is very precious in God’s eyes. 5

   The previous verses were not written to forbid us of wearing make-up or nice clothes. Those verses are meant to bring peace to our hearts. In other words, what God is telling us is: "Do not trust on your make-up or your efforts to win your husband. Instead, believe and rest in Jesus!"

   I remember as growing up. I observed my mom get ready to receive my dad from work.  She always made sure that her hair, nails and clothes would all look good for him. I tried to follow her example when I got married. I always made sure to look good for my husband. I trusted in my own efforts to win my husband's heart. The first 3 years of marriage I was able to keep up taking care of my self, the house and the kitchen. My ability to take care of my self was hindered when we had our first baby. First of all, when we got pregnant, I gained many, many, many pounds. So my silhouette completely changed. Then, when my baby was born I was tired most of the time. I had very little time to do something other than taking care of my baby. Time to shower I considered it a luxury! Time to shop for nice clothes was out of the question. There were many times that I felt anxious because I was not able to look nice when my husband was back from work. I was afraid to lose his interest in me. By the way, when I am anxious or afraid I do not necessarily have a gentle and quiet spirit.

  The reason why I was feeling so anxious and afraid was because I forgot about an important piece of our marriage. I forgot that God was the one who brought us together. He is the one who sustains our marriage! (Colossians 1:17)  Thanks be to Jesus that my marriage is not dependent on my efforts to look good neither on my efforts to do everything right. My marriage is dependent on Jesus' efforts at the cross! I've heard that a good marriage does not happen by accident. Well, I believe that I am not the one who should work to make my marriage work because Jesus payed the price to redeem my marriage from the curse of destruction. He made the effort and the work to hold my marriage together. 

 When we trust that our marriages are held together by the work of Jesus at  the cross, we can have peace. The peace in Christ will cause us to have a quiet spirit.  When we trust in the work of Jesus at the cross, there is no need to strive to get our husband to do what is right. Instead, we can rest because we know that Jesus already did what is right. When we trust in Jesus, we will not struggle to win our husband with our own efforts. Instead, we will be resting in the victory that Jesus has already given us. We can only have a gentle spirit when we are in a position of rest.
 
 My dear readers, having a gentle spirit and submitting to our husbands was not meant to be made a work. We who are in Christ are called to live by faith not by works. When we live believing that Jesus' work at the cross is more than enough, then submitting to our husbands will be a piece of cake. On the other hand, When we depend on our own efforts to win our husbands, we may become bitter and angry, which is the contrary of having a gentle spirit. Today, I encourage you  to turn to Jesus and rest in his finished work.

Self-effort is a gamble.

In response to a question on mom's in tune forum:

Question:  In the morning sow your seed, And in the evening do not withhold your hand; For you do not know which will prosper, Either this or that, Or whether both alike will be good. Ecclesiastes 11:6.

Answer: I think the context of Ecclesiastes is about trying to get satisfaction from things of this world (such as money, relationships and work) through your own self effort.

Those things are not meant to satisfy our heart because we were designed to be satisfied through relationship with Christ. Once we have Christ in our hearts we are satisfied and then we are able to enjoy all those good things in the world that God wants to bless us with. Ecclesiastes 5:19 says that it is God who gives the gift to enjoy our work and wealth.

However, if we try to find satisfaction or success in the world, through our own self-effort, without Christ, we are gambling.

For example, a mom may try teaching her child God's law through self effort (sowing) but it may result in failure if the child grows up and turns away from the Lord. The mom does not get to reap what she sowed.

Another example, a man may work really hard (sowing) at his job in hopes of getting promoted. However, even though he is the most qualified man, another employee gets promoted instead. So the man did not get to reap what he sowed. 

That is why without Christ we must sow "here and there" and all day long because some of our efforts will fail. We don't know which one will be successful. But we can trust in Jesus. Jesus did the things we cannot do.  He is the fulfillment of the law (Mathew 5:17) Jesus was the one who sowed "here and there." When we rely on Jesus' finished work for our success or satisfaction, there is no gambling. Christ at the cross  sowed his sinless life so we can reap his righteousness.(2 Corinthians 5:21) He became a curse so we can be blessed (Galatians 3:1-13).  When we received the finished work of Jesus Christ we have guaranteed success. In our weaknesses his grace super abounds.

Leave the Old Covenant Behind and Come To Jesus

What does the law (old covenant) say? Do not murder, do not steal, honor your parents, etc. On whom does the burden of fulfilling the old covenant depend on? It depends on man. All of the commandments are directed at men, not God. The old covenant is based on man's ability to perform a set of "do's" and "don'ts" by relying on his self-effort (his flesh). In other words, it is works-based. How many commandments must man keep to be blessed? All of them. And how often must he keep all of the commandments? All of the time. How many commandments can man break until he becomes cursed? One. How many times can he break that ONE command before he becomes cursed? Once.
We know we are not perfect and all of us have sinned, so does that mean we are cursed under the law? Yes! That is why the bible says:

Galatians 3:10 "For all who rely on doing the works of the law are under a curse..."

So don't deceive yourself into believing you can be successful under the old covenant.
What hope do we have then? We have a great hope indeed!

Galatians 3:13 "Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: "Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree."

We have a new and better covenant. The success of the old covenant depended on our self-effort---it was works-based (that's why it failed.) But the success of the new covenant is dependent ONLY on Jesus' work at the cross! Hallelujah! The new covenant is not work-based, but faith-based! Believe it!

Galatians 3:14 "in order that in Christ Jesus the blessing of Abraham would come to the Gentiles, so that we could receive the promise of the Spirit by faith ."

So you see that the blessings come strictly by confessing Jesus is Lord and believing in your heart that God raised Him from the dead.

Romans 10:10-13 "For with the heart one believes and thus has righteousness and with the mouth one confesses and thus has salvation. For the scripture says, "Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame." For there is no distinction between the Jew and the Greek, for the same Lord is Lord of all, who richly blesses all who call on him . For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."

What is the context of Galatians? Galatians was written to gentiles who accepted Christ by faith, but then later, began adopting the Jewish religion and went back to the works-based old covenant. They were trying to earn righteousness by doing the works of the law. Here is the first part of Galatians 3 so you can read it in its proper context and enjoy it for your self:

Galatians 3:1-14 3:1 You foolish Galatians! Who has cast a spell on you? Before your eyes Jesus Christ was vividly portrayed as crucified! 3:2 The only thing I want to learn from you is this: Did you receive the Spirit by doing the works of the law or by believing what you heard? 3:3 Are you so foolish? Although you began with the Spirit , are you now trying to finish by human effort? 3:4 Have you suffered so many things for nothing?---if indeed it was for nothing. 3:5 Does God then give you the Spirit and work miracles among you by your doing the works of the law or by your believing what you heard?

3:6 Just as Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness, 3:7 so then, understand that those who believe are the sons of Abraham. 3:8 And the scripture, foreseeing that God would justify the Gentiles by faith, proclaimed the gospel to Abraham ahead of time, saying, "All the nations will be blessed in you." 3:9 So then those who believe are blessed along with Abraham the believer. 3:10 For all who rely on doing the works of the law are under a curse, because it is written, "Cursed is everyone who does not keep on doing everything written in the book of the law." 3:11 Now it is clear no one is justified before God by the law, because the righteous one will live by faith. 3:12 But the law is not based on faith, but the one who does the works of the law will live by them. 3:13 Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us (because it is written, "Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree") 3:14 in order that in Christ Jesus the blessing of Abraham would come to the Gentiles, so that we could receive the promise of the Spirit by faith.

(Verses from New English Translation (NET) bible.)

Lyall Jonathan Di Trapani 04 Jan 2012